Saturday, January 9, 2010

3 months later...

Wow...I had completely forgotten about my beautifully decorated blog....I'm so impressed with my own creativity...(smiles with pride)....;)

I've been working as a C.M./FSC/EIS for the last three months. I have to admit it, I'm liking it. My co-workers are pretty great...of course there are some with sticks up their but let's change the subject. LOL You are terrible!

My job is interesting.I'm learning so much to say the least , especially about myself.
I've understood how judgmental I've been .I've learned about different family dynamics and how to approach the unapproachable. I've learned how to win people over with a smile and friendly words. I've learned how to adapt to any situation and different lifestyle. The cool thing is its only been three months. I've got so much to learn and so many awesome people to meet.

I remember praying for families which really needed my help. I walked into the homes of awesome families with needs of all types and worries that overwhelmed me just by listening to them. I won't work here forever,but in the meantime I plan to absorb and observe as much as I can. This is experience is worth a ton!

Friday, October 9, 2009

New Job...

Started my first "professional job" as a Family Service Coordinator earlier this week.

First day.....

I was so overwhelmed with the amount of new information that was shoved into my ears and by all the information I tried to swallow with my eyes.

Second day....

Lil' better... went on some home visits and understood the importance of my role as s FSC....

Third day....
Things are making sense, but the amount of paperwork is still overwhelming. Can't wait for Monday...

Overall, my days as caretaker are over. Its sooo sad to see my role as a full time mommy come to and end, but I love the idea of my role as a working woman expand.

I miss my child throughout the day, but I am aware of how much boredom he undergoes as he stays at home with me.

The hardest decision for me as a mother has been. TO WORK or NOT TO WORK? That is the issue.

I remember my child at stage Newbie... I cried as the thought of me having to leave him SOME DAY approached.

Six Months...
I finally brought myself to depart from his side for 24 hours throughout the weekend. I trusted no one so this gave me a perfect chance to leave him with my husband as I took a break from my child and provided care for 4 elderly men.

11months-15 months
Ideally, I had wanted to leave him at a day care for short amounts of time at a time. This happened perfectly! I would leave him at a daycare for half a day on Fridays...

I was able to leave him at a daycare for 20 hrs a week as I did my internship at a school across the street.

He's been at a daycare full time for about a month. The transition was a difficult one. My husband volunteered to drop him off the first 2 weeks of his child care days. He is still dropping him off at daycare, but I have become used to it and I no longer cry about it.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My irregular beat....

I can't say I'm just like the person. Thank Goodness I'm NOT!

I am my own with distinguish characteristics, peculiar flaws, and interesting skills.

I don't march to the same beat most girls do, I refuse to!

My thinking is a little off at times, my worries are not yours...

My sense of humor is way off though, what wanders in my head I simply cannot control.

My beat is very irregular...pum.pum.pum.....pupupupum..pumpum.pum.pum.
I'm on Metropolol for that that, 25 mg daily.

It defines the rest of my life ,too. My life is more than ordinary. My love life is different, my story is unique, my experiences are unexpected, my thoughts many, but my words are not.

I've encountered many obstacles, challenges and heartaches. Along the way, I've come across beautiful caring people. God has his hand over me and keeps my irregular beat beating.

There must be a reason.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Knowing MR..M.R.

I seem to gravitate towards the people with needs. Needs of all kinds seem to interest me. I love finding those sad stories that end up become inspirational.

I've been placed in a world, it seems like, of people with special needs. When I try to escape it, I keep being placed right into it. It's prolly the field I will pursue and hopefully I find a career I LOVE!

The people I've met have made me smile, cry, wanna throw 'em out the window (of course I never have), made me realize how beautiful life is and in many times surprised me.

Their lives are so humble, so pure, so honest and different than "normal" people and in no way does perversion or malice taint their thoughts.

They are pitied by most, but most don't know how precious a person with needs really is.

I wonder if God expects them to commit themselves to Christ? In their childlike ways, they are pure and precious. In our human eyes, they are mongoloids with deprived lives.

I remember a MR. Leo. In his old age, he had been diagnosed with more illnesses than I can count and his most evident diagnosis was being mentally retarded. As we saw the special olympics, and a thirty year old paraplegic sped on his wheelchair towards the finish line, he stated, " Oh, poor man.... look at him, his legs are no good."
My heart smiled.

Mr. Leo, was not aware of his own disability. The fact, that he himself was able to point out another man's disability and was ignorant to his had never crossed my mind. I hugged Leo that day. Leo, not Mr. M.R. , but lonely Leo in need of a hug seemed to not understand his own situation but wanted to live life as joyfully as he could.

I realized then, how their innocence penetrates their every thought. Being part of the "normal"
crowd, I am aware of the comments, the thoughts, and criticism they undergo for being special.

They, on the other hand, have no idea on how SPECIAL they really are.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

spiritual attack?

What a week! I bet we've all been through a week of *ell? No, not gel!

You might have read my car crash post.. Oh, you havent? Well what ya waiting for?!

Car crash .... A thursday morning right before work. All weekend long, I was in pain. Duh, I was in a car crash. Of course, having had my luck and ,I truly really believe, the devil being the sneaky wicked punk he is, the driver in the horrid suburban had no insurance and three kids to feed . Blah Blah Blah, I'm screwed and my truck is a mess.

So then comes, Monday morning and as I puke my gut outs with the green vile that surrounds my icky intestines, I dispose of my liquidy bodily wastes through my other antomical opening. I know, I know, COMPLETE YUCKNESS!

-BUT i got the call!! "What call?" you ask. The "We are extending an invitation to work with our company invitation"!!!!

... Because the evil DEVIL( so cleverly named) has been notified that God would bring on a great blessing to me, he attacked. Oh, he is pissed off now!

So then comes the bills, and we are overdrawn about 200.00 in the bank and now I have a jeep to fix because a Case Manager requires a working vehicle so he continues to pile up extra junk on us.

I have rededicated, my life to God and have taken a decision to make it known to the public by a water baptizism and the Devil is fuming ( pun intended) with anger.

All morning long, mean texts have been traded back and forth from my hubby and I. ----This adds to the stress of it all.

As I come closer God, obstacles meaning hardships with my finances ,struggles with my marriage mostly in part because of the finances, and then of course having a broken vehicle,

sidenote.(WOW!, as I explain my issues I understand they are all finacially related and this new job will be a great way of getting it under control..) HAHAHA, stupid devil you lose!

the mean devil is shaking in his underpants( they'd prolly melt, so he might not wear any).


Saturday, September 19, 2009

My Poetic Soul...

About a decade ago I wrote:

French fries can be unhealthy too
Tempting, salty, and tasty true
Let go of them all
You don't want to fall
Flat on your face
Fries leading the trace
To your sudden death
The ending of your breath
Your heart has shut down
Your going 6 feet under ground
You are to blame
We know it by the ketchup stain
You gluttonous fool
You couldn't control your drool
For your love of french fries!

LOL....i crack me up... I promise I will share more of my teenage poetry... i love this stuff!


Norma (the oldest)
The family's hero always kept it together in times of hardship. Her strong, courageous and ,at times, tough facade are the characteristic that defines her clearly. Norma is the family's older sister and well known for her tough and strict demands.
Sandra( second oldest)
Sandra, always, seeking to get away from it all. Her humorous attitude and her goal oriented ways kept her distant from the quarrelsome place we all knew as home. Always had a great relationship with Norma. Of course, they shared not just the same parents and went through the same heart aches. They shared a bedroom where secrets were shared,emotions were understood, and feelings were addressed and all behind closed doors .
Alex(third child)
The angry one of the bunch. Like most boys that grow up without a father, he showed much rebellion and resentment towards most his life. Issues arose early in his teenage years and those same issues darken his spirit today.